Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Search for True Love (Part 6)

Working on Yourself

A year ago, I was talking with two friends, Adam and Sam, over dinner.  Adam is a happily married man while Sam is almost forty years old who expressed concerns about not having a girlfriend.  Sam feared that he may not find someone.  He pretty much has the mentality of settling for the first woman who is interested.

Unfortunately, this insecurity is not uncommon among men and women.  This lack of confidence or this fear that they won’t be wanted is common among those who haven’t put much effort working on themselves.  So the practical solution to this lack of confidence is simply – work on yourself.

In many cases of people having trouble getting anyone interested in them, they are neglecting this simple truth of you have to first work on yourself, continuously.  As a result, they end up having trouble attracting the right person even when he or she shows up in their life.

Some of you know this to be apparently true for business.  If you want to attract a good company to hire you, you must continuously improve yourself as a prospective employee.  If you are developing a product or providing a service and you want it to be appealing to consumers, you must develop it and improve it.  Well, this is also true in your search for true love.  You must develop and improve you continuously.  Why would you think that you don’t need to focus on improving yourself?

When I provided this suggestion to Sam, Adam (our happily married friend) agreed with me.

Working on Your Fitness

So far, I’ve emphasized the importance of not needing a relationship and focusing on a greater purpose.  In going for your greater purpose while keeping an eye out for your soul mate when they come along, you need to work on you.  Even if you are among the few who still do not get my message from previous chapters and insists on focusing on the outward search and on needing to find someone, it still makes sense to work on you. 

Working on you serves both your greater purpose and the lower purpose of attracting your true love.  For example, we should all work on our physical fitness.  Working on your fitness will not only make you look better and feel better to attract your mate but it will allow you to be healthier, more energetic, and have more endurance in whatever work God has in store for you.  Working on your fitness will make it more possible for you in your work fulfilling your purpose, whether it is to treat the sick as a doctor, tend to the flock as a preacher, write, or teach kids.  The preacher Joyce Meyer often mentions how she has an exercise regimen and she sticks to healthy eating principles, because she wants to be able to last longer in her work for God.

When you work on becoming more fit and healthy, you will naturally look better to attract the chosen mate in addition to having the endurance and be in a better state to finish your work.
There is plenty of scientific evidence to back up my claims here.  In scientific studies, one variable or indicator of physical and fitness is the waist-to-hip-ratio.  Generally, the lower the waist-to-hip-ratio value you have, the better.  The lower your waist-to-hip-ratio number, the fitter and healthier you are.  I don’t think you’re surprised to hear that a lower waist-to-hip-ratio number is associated with lower chances of various types of diseases and a higher chance of living a longer life.  (A lower waist-to-hip value indicates a smaller waist relative to the size of your hip.)  This is almost common sense and many of you already know this.  What you may not know is that studies in psychology have also shown that we perceive people with a lower waist-to-hip-ratio to be more attractive (regardless of your overall weight.) 

Simply put, higher fitness level is associated with being more attractive as well as being healthier and being in a better state to work on your greater purpose.  Working on your greater purpose in addition to working on yourself will put you in a better state and position to attract “the one” into your life.  All these factors improve on each other... 

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