Friday, January 16, 2015

Breaking a Bad Habit or Pattern

In your life right now, is there a bad habit or a bad pattern that you are trying to break, such as stuttering, eating too much unhealthy foods, overeating in general, or any recurring behavior that is causing you misery in the long run?  Is there an addiction that you are trying to rid, such as smoking, cutting, drinking, drug addiction, or any other type of common or uncommon addictions?  

One of the first things you need to do before you break a pattern is to go back in time in your mind and remember when the pattern began. 

The following video shows a thirty-year-old man, Rechaud, who has severely stuttered speech for most of his life and how he was guided by Anthony Robbins to think back and remember the time when his speech impediment started.  The stuttering man remembered the time when he was around three years old when he watched a cartoon in the mornings where one of the characters with a speech impediment often yelled for help.  During this time of this man’s early life, his father was physically beating his mom.  As a child, he subconsciously started stuttering which presented a problem to distract his father from physically beating his mother.

Remembering this childhood memory was an important step toward stopping his lifelong pattern of severe stuttering.  As a matter of fact, this man stopped stuttering from that day forward, after remembering when the stuttering started.

Remembering and Writing Exercise

For whatever pattern or habit you are trying to break:

  1.        Think back to the very first moment (or the time period) the pattern started and the brief period AFTER the pattern started.  Even if you can’t remember a specific moment, remember the approximate time period.  How old were you?  Picture the environment you were in and the people around you.  What did you look like?  What did the people around you look like?  What was happening in your life at the time?  What were you doing?  What were people around you doing?  What or how were you feeling at the time?  Remember and describe as much as possible.
  2.         Now think back at the time period BEFORE the pattern started that may have contributed to your unintentional adaptation of this pattern (or caused you to subsconsciously adapt this pattern.)  What was happening in your life before the pattern started.  Usually, we adapt these bad patterns to get away from pain or to survive (and also probably to obtain ephemeral pleasure).
  3.         If you want me to guide you with the next steps to break your bad habit or pattern, feel free to email me at  with what you’ve written here.  Be sure to title the email “Breaking a Pattern or Habit”.

Clarification for Possible Misunderstanding
Let me be clear in case there’s any misunderstanding.  Not everyone will get results this quickly with just one step.  Some will, but not everyone will.  In other words, I am not saying that this exercise in remembering (and writing) is all you need to stop addictions or stuttering in all cases.  Not at all.  I am merely saying that this exercise is one step or one part of a whole set of strategies.  Although this stuttering man was cured with this one step, many will require additional strategies.  This is especially true with patterns like addictions.   If you are trying to break your pattern of any type of addiction, this exercise in remembering should not replace conventional medical treatment.  Instead, it should be used in addition to conventional and medically recognized treatment. 

Note for Coaches, Teachers, Advisors, and Trainers
Put attention on what you want whenever it shows up.  Notice when Rechaud said one phrase without stuttering, “Sign me up for that,” Tony stopped immediately to put both their attention on it. 

“Say that again,” requested Tony.  Tony was applying the principle of focusing on the behavior they want to grow (instead of focusing on what they don't want) .  In this case, you want the normal non-stuttering speech to grow (not the stuttered speech). 

Get your client or student to put his mind on a model he wants to become (whether it’s a metaphorical model or an actual person).  After Rechaud remembered the genesis of the problem (in his childhood) and after some strategies in releasing (that in Rechaud’s unconscious mind that had bound him in severely stuttered speech), Tony guided Rechaud to put Rechaud’s mind on the metaphorical model of person Rechaud wants to be, like the warrior “and the warrior never stutters.”

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