Friday, January 7, 2011

Ideas for Your New Year's Resolutions 2011

If you need ideas for your new year's resolutions, here are mine.
  1. Lose weight, by training to become the thumb wrestling champion
  2. Learn something new... like performing brain surgery… on myself.
  3. Spend more time with family and friends… on Facebook.
  4. Take a job with the Long Island Railroad and turn down the NFL, so that I can spend more time with family
    ...on Facebook
    ...with my phone while operating the train.
  5. Be more organized and productive… by outsourcing to India and China.
  6. Get out of debt starting a company that would clear the snow in New York right after a blizzard, and cut costs outsourcing to workers from India and China.
  7. Form a coffee-party of Democrats to retake Congress.
  8. Bitch about the economy; wait, I did that last year.
  9. Drink more water… without peeing more.
  10. Gain weight… by drinking more water without peeing more.

This list presented in a video at:

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  1. Hey, #3 isn't all that crazy. I've been able to stay in touch with lots of long-distance relatives through Facebook. It's a way to feel like you're a part of their lives, I think.

  2. That is true for long-distance relatives and Facebook is a great tool for that. But a lot of people are trying to reduce the time they spend on Facebook and IM in general.