Friday, July 10, 2009

The Confidently Wrong

I am just so sick of people who are “confidently wrong”. From the start, they have the attitude that what they are saying is right. They are very confident in what they know. You being a listener let them finish everything they want to say, to give them a chance to be right. May be if they complete their whole explanation, you will find that they are right. However, after they complete their point, they are still unfortunately dead wrong. (Honestly, I really wish people are right, because I really hate to debate them. Unfortunately, I have too much information/facts (in my head as well as in my computer. That can be a gift, but in these cases it’s a curse.)

Now you (knowing that you have the resources, literature, or documentation to back up what you know) start explaining to them. However, before you even get 10% of your explanation out of your mouth, they cut you off. They don't give you the same respect of finishing your point, the respect that you've given them. They say, “Stop” as if you are being unreasonable, when you spoke for less than a minute after listening to them for five minutes. You just want to presenting information, backed by documented facts that you have, just like you do when you teach a seminar or a class. They cut you off before you can finish, or before you barely started, and they act as if you are being unreasonable. But you barely started your explanation or correction of what they said, although you gave them the benefit of the doubt and allowed them to completely finish their point (even though it ended up to be wrong).

In the end, you try to get your last few words out before they start to get mad, “I have resources to back up what I am saying.” They don't even let you tell them quickly where you obtained your information. They cut you off because they are not interested in seeing the facts, since it conflicts with what they think they know (from a seminar or from reading, in which they misunderstood the teacher or the writer).

I think more people in this society need to understand the importance of knowledge and how to seek knowledge in depth and accurately. It is usually the non-readers and non-seekers of knowledge who are among these “confidently wrong” (although even the knowledgeable sometimes are “confidently wrong” on occasion, usually because of a stronghold on their ego which blindsides them from the facts.)

More people need to embrace the exchange of ideas in a civil manner, which includes listening and allowing both sides of an argument ample time to present their information.

For some reason, I have been coming across people who don’t understand this. However, I don’t tell people this because that doesn’t achieve anything. Also, they’ll say, “You’re a know it all” and put you in the same category among the know-it-alls who do not have the facts to back up what they are saying.

This is why I like science, or at least the part where facts and findings are documented, or published. You have to be objective. If you are right, you have literature to back things up, regardless of your lack of ability to be a politician or debater. This is also why I love to write. In writing, you get to finish all your points without interruption and you present your sources. The wise readers could read what you have and check your sources. The unwise readers can stop reading whenever they want. However, there are usually enough wise and knowledgeable readers out there to recognize the information you are presenting (if they are backed by facts and well thought out).

I think God is trying to remind me or push me by recently bringing me so many incidences of the “confidently wrong.” They are in the family, within my friends, and even among my clients. I think God is really pushing me to get my writing (or the writing portion of my plans/goals) going. The writing portion of my plans has been progressing, but at a crawling speed. (There are many portions/components of my plans but most people don’t understand this, but they will. Unfortunately, people will only understand when the millions of dollars start rolling in. Although I do currently get paid from some of my writings and from teaching/tutoring college students how to write and research, I am still not at the level where I am meant to be yet.)

This entry is somewhat of a rant. However, there is a lesson for us all here. First of all, we all need to listen, and not just speak and cut others off, and not quickly get agitated if you don't agree. Even if you think you are right, let people finish presenting their information before you analyze everything. Then, analyze everything objectively, getting your ego out of the way. As I've written in a previous entry "Is There Room In Your Cup", come with an empty cup. I consciously try to do this (since I probably am also the "confidently wrong" on occasion. I haven't totally rid my ego, which is quite hard to do. But I believe I am on the right track since I am conscious of all of this.) Those who are not conscious of this are more likely to be among the confidently wrong.

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